The purpose of this technique is in the name. It prepares your body and mind for what’s about to happen – the sex. Even when you’re totally relaxed and at ease, sex can be quite stressful. You’ve got the physical act of thrusting, lifting, pushing and pulling to wear out your body, and the mental workout of choosing positions and constantly arousing your partner to tire your mind. That’s why Preparatory Breathing is so useful; it calms your body and focuses your mind. Now let’s look at how it works.
You can do Preparatory Breathing any time before sex. The best time though is when foreplay, and the definite onset of sex begins. Once foreplay starts, your breathing deepens naturally to a degree, so don’t fight it. Many men do fight it by holding their breath, which actually sacrifices their ejaculatory control.
• Sign 3 or 4 times to open up your breathing: You don’t need to make it audible – or the girl you’re with might start looking at you a little strangely. Simply take a big in-breath, full out-breath and pause at the end. Because you can do this through either your nose or mouth, you’re able to kiss and partake in foreplay as normal and without disrupting the action.
• Now breathe deeply and slowly, Focus on moving out your lower ribs and belly as you did during the deep breathing exercise above. Ensure your shoulders aren’t rising and falling.
• Let go completely on each out:breath and pause as long as you like at the end.
• To keep you focussed, use a verbal prop After you’ve been deep breathing for a minute or so, say the words “in…out…” in your head as you take each breath. Then, once you feel you’re back into the slow, rhythmic deep breathing, stop and continue as you were.
• Finally, every time you begin a new phase of foreplay, start these steps from the beginning – with the 3 or 4 sighs. This will rapidly relax the new anxiety caused by such things as undressing, touching naked flesh, or performing oral sex.
You may be thinking breathing in this way is somewhat convoluted – a waste of time, when you could instead be breathing as normal and gritting your teeth to tackle the sensations you encounter as you rise up the pleasure scale. Many, many men think exactly the same thing. They think it’s possible to just ride the storm and avoid ejaculation by being strong minded. The truth is, a relaxed and focussed approach to sex is the number one method of increasing ejaculatory control – part of which centres around these fundamental breathing patterns, which Taoists and Buddhists have used for centuries to induce a tranquil, focussed state. But, as we aren’t aiming to become Zen masters, we’re honing in on the most simple and effective ways to breathe that, used in sex, will increase your sexual stamina and orgasm control.
Now, let’s move onto the second breathing technique called Live Action Breathing.
LIVE ACTION BREATHING
The reason so many men ejaculate before they’re ready comes down to their body’s inability to handle the orgasmic tension brought on by sex. During levels 4-8 on the pleasure scale (the plateau stage), this orgasmic tension builds and builds. Even slowing down the action or taking a quick break sometimes can’t completely reverse this build-up of sexual energy in the male. Because of this, the best method of extending a performance is to stop or severely slow the onset of orgasmic tension before it has a chance to take over and bring on certain ejaculation.
This breathing technique is used during sex to not only bring about and maintain the calm and focussed state we’ve already talked about, but also rapidly tackle a sudden “wave” of orgasmic tension. In other words, the often surprising moments during intercourse where you “feel the feeling” in your penis and around your body of an impending orgasm. You accidentally jump from a 5 or 6 on the pleasure scale to an 8 or 9, and have to fight to avoid ejaculation.
Once again, you can give it a try as you read along
The fundamentals of Live Action Breathing lie in the Deep Breathing technique we’ve already covered, but there a few key differences that streng then that breathing style and make it more effective for use during sex.
• Once sex has begun, continue to breathe deeply as you did in the Preparatory breathing during foreplay. Take 3 or 4 deep, slow sighs to induce a rapid relaxation in your body. Remember to follow the steps in the deep breathing section – belly before chest, don’t let your shoulders rise and fall, and try to think of each breath as in and out instead of up and down.
• Every so often, identify which level of the pleasure scale you’re at. If you find yourself jumping up 2 steps instead of slowing transitioning one step at a time, reaffirm your relaxation and focus by using deep breathing.
• Here’s an important part, Whenever you feel a wave of orgasmic sensations in your penis, as previously mentioned above, change your breathing style as follows. Begin to take shallower in-breaths and deeper out-breaths. The in-breaths should last around 2 seconds, while the out-breaths last about 4. Use the same deep breathing technique, belly first etc., just change the in and out-breath lengths. This breathing pattern is essentially the opposite of hyper-ventilation, and halts the orgasmic stress by allowing the relaxation response of your nervous system to kick in.
• Don’t force your breathing rhythm, You’ll find that after 20 seconds of doing the last step, you’ll naturally pause between each breath. This is a good sign, and indicates that your body has become more serene and focussed.
• Return to the deep breathing technique once you’ve return to a safer level of arousal.
Here’s the best way to use these two breathing exercises. The first thing to do, is practice. It may sound boring, and you would probably like to go out and give them a shot while having sex, but practising and becoming familiar which these breathing styles is very important. First of all, practice them during masturbation.
BREATHING PRACTICE USING MASTURBATION
• Becoming hard and sexually excited in masturbation is the equivalent to foreplay during sex. Practise the preparatory breathing from levels 0-3 on the pleasure scale to prepare your body.
• Once you’ve entered the plateau stage of arousal, start to think about Live Action Breathing. Whenever you have a wave of sensation in your penis, use the shorter in-breaths, longer out-breaths technique. Don’t hold your breath at any time, and ensure you’re deep breathing properly.
• Once you’re at around 8 on the scale, it’ll become harder to control your ejaculation through just your breathing. Regardless, make sure you continue to breathe deeply, as this will be very important for when you use the other arousal step-down techniques detailed later on in this manual.
Once you’ve become used to using these breathing techniques during masturbation, you can practice them during sex. If you’re not sexually active, you can simply continue to improve your breathing style using masturbation and any other self-satisfaction methods.
BREATHING PRACTICE DURING SEX
• Use the same method as you did in masturbation; the Preparatory Breathing in foreplay and the Live Action Breathing during sex.
• Don’t worry if you lose track of your breathing the first few times you try it. You’ll find recalling and following the steps much easier the more you practice.
• Become as used to using these two breathing styles as you possibly can. As well as practising them during sex, you can go over them at any time during the day. Make using them to calm and focus yourself second nature. You’ll eventually be using other techniques and approaches alongside your breathing to further increase your ejaculatory control, so it’s important you’re totally familiar with this pair of breathing styles.
You’ll probably find that after a while, maybe as soon as a couple of days after you begin practising, you’ll be able to use both techniques easily and without any trouble. They may sound a little complex at first, but once you’re able to use them effortlessly, they’ll seem completely natural.
Now it’s time to move onto the second part of this chapter on using your mind to control your body.