Our minds play a huge role in everything we do. Nowhere is that more evident than in sex. That’s why the mental anxiety mentioned earlier can have such a massive impact on a male’s ability to maintain an erection and hold back from ejaculation. But there’s a flip-side to that coin. By harnessing the power of our minds and actually taking control, we can use it to our advantage in the bedroom. For example, take the mental anxiety I just brought up. A large percentage of guys who are nervous in bed are fully aware of that fact, they know that they aren’t as calm and collected as they could be. Using some simple techniques, you’re able to bring that nervousness down to a more normal, relaxed level.
However, there are also a large number of men who don’t feel particularly nervous or anxiety-ridden before or during sex. The only problem they seem to have is that, for whatever reason, they ejaculate too quickly. What they don’t know is, the same techniques used to combat and lessen the obvious nervousness can also be used to increase their mental relaxation and sexual composure to levels that are well beyond what they previously considered “normal”. The mind control techniques that follow will help any man increase their stamina and performance time by increasing their composure and lessening the mental and physical stresses that bring on orgasm. We’ve already talked about the important role proper breathing plays in sex, so now we’re going to look at the best breath control techniques and how using them will extend your performance.
There are 2 simple breathing techniques that can be used to keep your ejaculation at bay. They are:
• Preparatory Breathing: A breathing technique used before sex and during foreplay that prevents any negative mental or physical anxiety from arising and building.
• Live Action Breathing: A simple breathing style that stops the build-up of orgasmic tension, while simultaneously keeping you calm and focussed.
Something you don’t want to do while having sex is recall a complex breathing pattern – in, then out, then deep, then shallow – that would only make things worse. That’s why the two breathing techniques we’re covering are kept simple and easy to remember. After some practice, you won’t even have to consciously think about implementing them while you have sex – you’ll simply be able to reap their rewards: a longer and more fulfilling lovemaking session for you and your partner.
You mention deep breathing to some guys and they’ll nod knowingly, saying they’re fully aware of how to do it. “In through the nose, out through the mouth”. In actuality, that’s only a small (and fairly non-important) part of anti-anxiety breathing. By attempting to breathe deeply and in a relaxed way improperly, you can actually increase the anxiety in your body and mind. That’s what most men don’t know and why they become so perplexed when, after trying to breathe slowly and deeply during sex, they still find themselves becoming tense and ejaculating too soon.
The reason for this revolves around the area of the body they use while “deep” breathing. A real, effective deep breath involves fully expanding the diaphragm and the lower ribs, but not the upper chest. Breathing through your upper body, especially when consciously trying to breathe deeply, can make your breaths become jerky and constricted. That’s why people who suffer from panic attacks are actually taught to breathe through their lower body to reverse the effect – in other words, to practise anti-anxiety breathing.
This first breathing technique, Preparatory Breathing, uses deep breathing through the lower body. But before we go on to explaining how you carry it out, I’ll quickly explain how you breathe through your lower body as opposed to your upper. If you practice it and become used to doing it without thinking, you’ll already be several steps ahead of the average guy.
1. Keep your focus on your lower torso. As you breathe in, push out your belly and your lower ribs. Don’t suck your stomach in like most people do when they try to breathe deeply. Think of the breathing action as going out and in rather than up and down. If your chest moves before your belly, or notice your shoulders rising and falling significantly, you’ll simply reinforce the habit of anxious breathing.
2. Make the breath smooth. Breathing is an automatic process, but if you focus on it, you can make the co-ordination smoother and more luxurious.
3. Keep the breathing natural, don’t try to force it to be perfectly regular. Allow each breath to take the shape and time that feels natural to it. Then rest a little at the end of the out-breath, and wait for the in-breath to start when it wants to.
Practise deep breathing until you can do it effortlessly and without having to concentrate too much on the ins and outs. Once you feel happy, you can move onto the Preparatory Breathing technique.