Depth And Stroke Control (D)

Arousal Step Down TechniquesWe picked up on this a little earlier in the Doggy position section. This arousal control method focuses on changing the speed and depth of each thrust you make. As well as the straightforward ‘slow for less stimulation,fast for more’ aspect of stroke control, there’s the slightly more detailed and effective method mentioned earlier.

The deepest part of the vagina balloons out when a woman becomes aroused, while the part of the vagina closer to the opening tightens. Because of this, pulling out suddenly when you feel the urge to ejaculate can actually be worse than staying in. Here’s how to alternate the stroke speed and depth to lower your arousal level.

Use slow, deep strokes to enter her vagina as much as possible without her becoming uncomfortable. Once in, the sensitive part of your penis, the head, will be less stimulated because it’s in the wider section of her vagina. Stop the thrusting motion and gently grind, rub and push against her externally. The majority of women orgasm from external stimulation as much as they do from internal action. So, continue to rub your pubic bone gently against her, stimulating her clitoris and lips.

When you feel you’re ready to resume pumping and thrusting, do so, build it gradually though, so the shock of the extra sensation doesn’t push your arousal level back into the danger zone (8-9).


This isn’t so much an arousal step-down as it is a preventative measure. Letting her touch your penis during foreplay may sound wrong, as you’d expect the best thing to do would be to limit the amount of stimulation before sex and avoid becoming too aroused. But that approach can backfire – the sudden surge of stimulation you receive upon entering your partner can be too much. You either lose control and ejaculate right there and then, or get pushed so far up the pleasure scale that coming back down using other step-down techniques and breathing styles is near impossible. So you end up ejaculating in about a minute. If, on the other hand, your penis is lightly stimulated during foreplay, the stronger sensation and stimulation from intercourse is less overwhelming and you’re consequently more able to handle your arousal levels successfully.



Entering a woman is both heavily stimulating mentally and physically. Because of this, it’s important to go about it right – in a calm and composed manner.

Enter her slowly, then once fully inserted, pause for a moment. This will not only build the tension and excitement in her mind, but also give your body the chance to become accustomed to the new sensation. After that 1 or 2 second pause, begin to move in and out of her slowly – this will further diffuse the initial rush of sensation you feel. You wouldn’t believe how many men do the opposite. They stick it in quickly, while tensing their legs and stomach. They begin to pump hard and fast straight away, and for some reason, they’re surprised when they feel a swelling of orgasmic tension in their penis and ejaculation beginning. Take it slow, be cool and stay in control.

Depth And Stroke ControlSLICK SATISFACTION


For a man, stimulation comes in the form of friction between his penis and the walls of the female’s vagina. This preventative measure relies on the simple theory that if you reduce the excess friction, you can extend the amount of time it takes you to climax. Even if your partner is naturally “well-lubricated”, using an additional lube can give you that extra slick feeling as you pump and thrust and reduce the acute pleasure sensations you feel in the sensitive part of your penis such as the head and top of the shaft.

The old style lubricants like KY Jelly are more often than not too sticky to be of any real use. Try using a couple of the newer silicone based lubes available such as Astroglide or KY Liquid, or try my favorite lube – it works the best for me. They’ll do a much better job of reducing friction while keeping sex highly pleasurable for you and your partner.

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